Good night, Ustaz!

Last Thursday, my 'step' father in law passed away after a long illness and since then I was very busy commuting to and fro between my home and my in laws home. It was actually a meaningful experience it was my first leading the yasiin recitation. While it was disspointing and sad when other surrounding members of the Muslim community were absent from such functions but at the same time it was the time for me to learn and practise although admittedly I'm still green.

It was indeed a learning journey when everyone were not proficient although I'm sure they have more experience than me in relation to attending tahlill and yasiin recitations. Allah the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious and as it turned out He was actually teaching, educating and guiding me in lots of mysterious ways though I seemed to noticed them. First, when Allahyarham passed away when we turned up at the house, I was sad rather than upset when nobody was reciting the Quran. There was only his daughter but she seemed to be doing nothing. There was even no joss- stick or incense burning to neutralise the smell.

Since then they seemed to look upon me to lead them particularly when it came to the recitations and seeing that nobody is willing then with heavy and reluctant heart I took up the obligation though deep inside I doubted if I could carry such heavy responsibility. I once heard one ustaz telling a story of how villagers were willing to wait up for him to come and grace their kenduri with his doa selamat well beyond the prescribed time only because nobody seemed confident? enough to lead the prayer.

I am certainly not bragging my ability here but I want to highlight the need to learn the basics in religion so that even if those experts aren't available, those present can then take over rather than doing nothing or even worse cancelling such function. Once, before I went to the university these were taboo and scary for me as my knowledge were considered equal to that of an infant. I was alergic to Quran as I was not proficient in it. But the six years in university had really opened my eyes the need and importance to learn one's faith and no merely wearing the religion's attire by having names attributed to such religion.

I was not even formally trained to recite the Quran and I remembered my mom teaching me to pray and recite the necessary verses like Al - Fatihah and the likes. Now, years ahead, her teachings and those I gathered in my six university years have been fruitful and are able to render me the confidence when I have to perform what the learned are doing.

Tonight while leaving my mom in law's, a nephew of my wife said. "Good bye, ustaz!"

"Grateful to my mom and the years in university"