A Sin Towards One's Race

While busying myself redoing my proposal ,I went blog hopping one of the few things I'll do when I'm with my 'second wife'. I got to this one blog belonging to one of my junior in university. Apparently he was new to blogging but a few of his entries got my attention.He's a Bajau just like my colleague Mr. Hamid and incidentally this junior of us (Me and Mr. H) is also a budding lawyer. (Well, I once was a lawyer too ;P)

His entry which caught my interest was on language lesson; Bajau. He seems proud to be one and of course everyone should be proud of their roots. However, it's a different scenario to me as I'm not fluent in my own native language although I am proud to say that nobody can fool me when they are speaking Dusun. Wouldn't it be nice if I am able to converse fluently in Dusun, just like my wife. She's not even a pure Dusun but she could even change her accent like those in Kundasang or even Kota Belud and many more!

I believe that to belong to a certain race we need to speak and not only understand the language and although I see myself as a Dusun but alas, I can't even talk fluently in that language. Surely I am not ashamed to be a Dusun but again speaking become the barrier of me claiming myself as a full fledged Dusun. I am not going to embarass myself but certainly my level is liken to an infant in term of speaking my native language.

Nowadays, however I feel that I've improved a bit compared toi years ago.I still remember vividly during the height of IRC, I used to 'converse' in Dusun while I was chatting with fellow Dusuns and due to IRC I become of what I am today. Thus, thank you IRC! Nonetheless, it certainly isn't enough as a language will flourish if the people continue to speak them just like my junior said in his blog, if we were to flourish we need to speak our language.

Indeed, it is a disappointment when I am able to speak fluently in other languages just like what I'm doing now (Well, at least I'm using the language although not in the real sense- speaking). It is indeed a sad moment for me and for my race as many of us no long use that language as even the elders are used to converse in Malay with their youngsters. Certainly, I am not against any languages but if only I can converse freely in my own native language.

Well, maybe next time I'll try my best to write something in Dusun. So, help me God!

" Language reflects the race but am I doing enough to say that I am proud to be a Dusun?" - Certainly not!